BOBO SPY: The Return of the Salad Bar

Bobo Spring Break is sadly over. [SOURCE = Bowdoin College Webcams]

BOBO GOSSIP: The Quarterback Comic & The Starlet

Dr. Alfred Kinsey (Al), the founder of modern psychosexual research and the respected Kinsey Institute, is also the official Bobo Watch Celebrity Gossip reporter. Occasionally, he will also provide expert commentary on the sexual activities of college students (just kidding). It always makes me proud when a Bowdoin graduate graces the New York Post's respected Page Six (see below). My anonymous source (whose identity has been coded with my unique encryption algorithm) frequents Page Six on a daily basis - hence the anonymity request. On 7 March 2006, my source quickly scanned the Page Six headline, Ali's New Hunk, but audibly snarked coffee through his/her nasopharyngeal passageways upon learning the identity of Ali's new "hunk". Ms. Larter, best known for her roles in the first two Final Destination teen-horror blockbusters, is romantically linked to a Mr. Hayes MacArthur, Bowdoin College graduate extraordinaire, class of '99; star football quarterback, government major and He of the "Farley" in Farley Field House and the "Hayes" in Helen Hayes, famous actress. It is unclear why Ms. Larter declined to participate in Final Destination 3 and her reasoning deserves its own investigation, but I like to imagine that her loving boyfriend told her not to do it - you know, to save her career. (Please note that although easily confused, Ali Lartner did not marry Mario Lopez; that mistake was made by Ali Landry of Doritos notoriety.) Regardless, my training in the scientific method required that I investigate this alumni story further. According to the Internet Movie Database, Ms. Larter and Mr. MacArthur appeared together in the 2006 comedy Homo Erectus: A Caveman Comedy. I postulate that the romance started on the set. The film sounds like a real winner too (no image available). Thanks to the Internet, I was able to research Mr. MacArthur while conducting official academic research. Mr. MacArthur is quite the Hollywood success, with or without his amorous connections to blond-bombshell Larter. Mr. MacArthur is an "award winning stand-up comedian and actor" with his very own official Comedy Central biography:It's not everyday that one associates Bowdoin College with Comedy Central. Glad to see Mr. MacArthur's Bowdoin degree is working out for him. Thanks again to Mr. Internet, I was able to watch snippets of Mr. MacArthur's stand-up routine at the Comedy Central site (click on Video Clips):The clip is humorous, partly because Mr. MacArthur relies heavily on items of a sexual nature. The Kinsey Institute certainly would approve. I also learned from his insightful routine that Mr. MacArthur probably makes Ms. Larter shave her legs.Besides appearing in the sitcom the King of Queens, MacArthur also penned and starred in the fifteen-minute short-film The Adventures of Big Handsome Guy and His Little Friend (2005). The film was screened in 2004 at the Beverly Hills Film Festival, which is far more respected than that festival held next to the Ben and Jerry's in Malibu (personal experience). As of 21 February 2006, the film is in production for television: All of us at Bobo Watch cannot wait for the premier - because watching reruns of King of Queens is out of the question. Congratulations to Mr. MacArthur; we wish he and Ali continued success - both professionally and personally.Better yet: Have a painful break-up. We need more gossip fodder; the more Bobo grads on Page Six, the better. UPDATE: Thanks to Google, I discovered that Mr. MacArthur appeared in by far the best Bowdoin Magazine wedding photo E.V.E.R. The photo from the Spring 2003 edition was a fav before I even realized that Mr. MacArthur was present.Ahh, Spring 2003. What a year for wedding photos. [SOURCES = NY Post Page Six, My Way Celebrity Gossip, Hayes on IMDB, Larter on IMDB, Handsome Guy at the Beverly Hills Film Festival, Ali Larter did not marry Mario Lopez, Hayes MacArthur Biography by Comedy Central, Watch Hayes MacArthur on Comedy Central, Hayes at Whiteboy Comedy Productions, Bowdoin Magazine Spring 2003; HAT TIP = Anonymous]

BOBO SHOP: Everything Else is Just a Sticker

The Bobo Watch staff proudly presents a new feature called "Shopping with Donald", hosted by our favorite crew member and shipwreck savior, Donald B. MacMillan. Donald, affectionately called "The Don", brings his unique sense of style and design aesthetic to Bobo Watch. Hello from P-Town! In this post we discuss stickers - namely those sticky decals that can be used to emblazon your truck, dog sled or ocean vessel with Bowdoin pride. So, we all love those peeing Calvin and Hobbes decals. Little Calvin is so cute when he is urinating on the Ford logo or "terrorists" etc. Statistically, these Calvin stickers are found in the highest density on the tinted back windows of Chevy trucks in Alabama, and are most often affixed next to holographic renditions of the Confederate flag. Peeing Calvin also looks great next to the NRA logo, even if Peeing Calvin is not endorsed by Bill Watterson (who may or may not be related to Professor Watterson). Calvin stickers are special because they are die-cut with lasers, meaning the background has been magically removed. When applied to window glass, Calvin is unhampered by an annoying background or border. He stands alone against the dark window glass, his striking silhouette highlighted by the contrast afforded by the revolutionary laser manufacturing process. So then, what could be better than mash-up between peeing Calvin and the famous Bowdoin Polar Bear? I present the "Color Shock" Polar Bear: Back in the day, some of us received the bookstore version of this famous "running bear"sticker in the mail with our admissions packet. Sadly, that version was not laser-cut and featured an annoying background that clashed with the running bear in all his glory. That sticker was "just a sticker"; the Color Shock Decal is certainly the "NEW DECAL" and is guaranteed to look great on your rear pick-up window (the one with the gunrack). Peeing Calvin has finally found a worthy companion. You can purchase the Color Shock Bowdoin decal at CollegeGear.com. Stickers are $4.95. [SOURCE = College Gear]

Spring Rituals: Thick or Thin?

It's that time of year again! The flowers are blooming, green grass is sprouting across the Quad, the ice-flows are melting, and the postman is delivering the dreaded college application letters to nervous high-schoolers across the country. The Bobo Blogosphere is already bustling with shouts - and apathetic moans - of accepted glee. Writes 17-year-old Julia the Jubilant at This Here Giraffe: "oh my god i'm going to explode i got into bowdoin!" (2006-03-21 11:33:00) [Figure 1] Like - we feel Ms. Jubilant's excitement, but we hope she purposely left out the necessary grammatical stops in this post for emphatic emphasis. But like - OMG! - we are so happy for you, but please don't explode! We watched a dead whale explode once from carbon monoxide buildup and it isn't pretty (hence the splatters in the screencap). Ms. Jubilant also applied to Yale (boo) and Dartmouth (double boo) but has yet to hear from those other (icky) institutions. Drakaina (nee Sharon) from Cerritos, California, also received her prized Bobo acceptance letter. Writes Drakaina at Bounded in a Nutshell: " I GOT MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER INTO BOWDOIN. YAY. The financial aid they're offering will cover about 50% of the expenses... still ~$24,000 left. Argh! Nevertheless. YAY." (2006-03-18 21:42:00) [Figure 2] Yay indeed! You deserve that bouncy mood! And thanks for not exploding, although we would argue that severing a limb is never an option. This one time at the North Pole...oh nevermind, too painful to discuss. So question: Is Camp Bobo's financial aid still need based? You know, because it's a nice system and all, but we'll be paying off our fine education till we're 80. Like - not that we're bitter or anything...But YAY! Then we have Ms. Keogryff from Denver, Colorado who writes at The Loopy Lupogryph in a post titled Attack of the College Shit: "So, yeah, apparently I got into Bowdoin. Wootness. :D I feel like I should be more excited. That worries me. Maybe everything won't become magically clearer once I have the definitive list of where it is possible to go. *panic*" ( 06:49 pm March 18th, 2006) [Figure 3] Wow. :-0 We are speechless. Just a lonely "Woot!" and an emoticon? The excitement in this post is simply too much to bear. In our book, Bobo is some hot shitzna! Ms. Keogryff continues to discuss her "stretch" applications to MIT (ugh), Yale (double ugh) and Cornell (ugh ugh ugh!). She also spent the day at the University of Colorado at Boulder engineering day. The Admiral has it on the best authority from a good friend and Bobo grad who is also Colorado native: Avoid UCB (yes, you may call it that) at all costs. Bowdoin professors are WAY hotter - since that seems to be quite an important characteristic for Ms. Keogryff.Chris at Amusingly_Odd (AKA - Lamentations of a Clever Fool) is far more "ecstatic" in a post appropriately titled !!!!: "OH. MY. GOD. ASKFJSDSKJFAL. SHOWER ME WITH CONGRATULATIONS, FOR I AM SHAMELESS. GOD. I AM SO HAPPY. I AM NOT COLLEGE-LESS. I DO NOT HAVE TO BECOME A PIRATE (despite how appealing this profession truthfully is...). Oh, life. I love you. And Bowdoin! One of my reaches! LIFE! WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO ME?" (2006-03-18 16:03:00) [Figure 4] Now this deserves a double Woot: WOOT WOOT!. Well done Chris - although we're curious: Are college-less high-schoolers forced to become pirates these days? Because, that just seems wrong and sad. We blame Harvard. Lucky for you, we have just the clip-art for your graphic...Also, please define "ASKFJSDSKJFAL" and use in a sentence. The Admiral would like to comment on the "OH MY GOD, YAY" factor in these delightful posts. He too remembers the stress and agony of college admissions, so these kids deserve a boisterous BW round of applause. YOU GOT IN! THE ENVELOPE WAS THICK! YOU BEAT THE NUMBERS GAME (or whatever other method admissions offices use these days). But the old man wants you to remember that there is more to life and college and all that other sappy junk. Don't like your BoboWatch hyperlink or shout-out? Take comfort: Nobody reads us anyway! Additionally, this terrible blog should in no way influence your decision to attend Camp Bobo. This site is in NO WAY affiliated with the College and is run by lame alumni with nothing better to do - and that's not because their degrees are worthless! [SOURCES = This Here Giraffe, Bounded in a Nutshell, The Loopy Lupogryph, Amusingly_Odd; SEARCH SLAVE = Technorati]

I.A. WITH FRANK: A Bobo Grad & Page 6!

In editorial review. Article will be posted shortly.

BOBO IM: Josh & Rob

Bowdoin Watch presents the latest Instant Messenger conversation between our pals - and cohorts in crime - Josh (Joshua Chamberlain) and Rob (The Admiral): J: Dude, you there? R: What up Josh, I'm here. J: So howz the spring break treating you? R: Ugh. Pretty boring so far. J: Tell me about it. Have you done anything exciting? Drinking and debauchery, I hope? R: No... Not really. Well, I saw Eight Below. J: Huh? What the hell is that? R: Oh you know...That Disney movie about the sled dogs. J: Please tell me you didn't see that crap! R: I did. It was great. I loved it. J: Okay, I'll let you have it because it's about the north pole and sleds and stuff. R: No. It's about the ANT-arctic. Wrong pole jackass. J: Whatever. Same difference... So... let's go somewhere since we only have one more week of break. R: Like where? I'm kinda busy. I have to wax the floors. J: You are so lame! I mean - like - let's go to Cabo or something!! R: No thanks. Too hot. I only like polar climates. And besides, I don't own a swimsuit - only fur parkas. J: You are seriously the worst.friend.ever! Come on! R: No. J: FINE! Let's go polar bear hunting in Nova Scotia again. Anything to get me out of this dusty house... R: That's more like it. I'll grease up the harpoon. J: Ok, see you in a few. Later. R: Later dude.

It's Always A Good Day When...

...the Bowdoin Magazine finally arrives in PDF format!Updates to follow! We already cruised through the wedding section and a lot of newbies "got hitched". Seriously, we know it's sad, but the BW staff lives for this day all year long - and it only happens four times per year! [SOURCE = Bowdoin Alumni Gateway, PDF File Download]

WWW BOBO: Urban Dictionary, Yo!

Your favorite Admiral uses Urban Dictionary all the time. The UrbDict infuses the good Admiral's normally dry 19th century vocabulary with hip, contemporary lingo - like, phone stamina (good one to use when chatting with Joshua Chamberlain) or Cadillac Mack (which he uses often to pick up ladies while cruising Maine in his pimped dogsled). But did all you hipsters know that dear, sweet Camp Bobo has its very own urban definition? For reals, yo, it does: Mr. Joe Bornstein Esq. did a "swa-heet" job urbanizing our beloved Whispering Pines. But the Bowdoin Watch (BW) staff (the Admiral included) disagrees on several counts: - Brunswick is considered a suburb of Portland? Is Portland even large enough to have suburbs? - The Admiral refuses to wear fleece; he wears only boiled wool imported from Scotland. Dictionary definitions are no place for generalizations. - While discussing generalizations: Not everyone at Bowdoin drinks (or drunk) themselves to "oblivion". Let's not forget that all the cool kids lived in Hyde and Howard! - There are not many unhappy people at Bowdoin? Really? Did the info desk start passing out free antidepressants? - On the subject of arrogance: Mr. Bornstein Esq. seems a "bit arrogant" himself. It's the 21st century; titles are so passe. - What's wrong with being an underachiever? Great blogs are never created by achievers! - While BW appreciates the detail of Mr. Bornstein's definition, it is a tad lengthy and could be truncated, just like the his Esq. title. But it is still nice to know Bowdoin is dope on the Internet. [SOURCE = Urban Dictionary, HAT TIP = Anonymous]

WELCOME TO BOBO WATCH!

BOBO WATCH: A new site for Bowdoin College related news, gossip and snark - with an alumni twist. Authored and Edited by the venerated Admiral Robert E Peary, class of 1877. Please note that the site is still very much under construction and may remain ugly for several weeks.